One, Two Cha Cha Cha

This post is an entry to the ‘The Great Indian Blogging Contest’, as a part of the Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival 2015.

The only thing that came to my mind after reading the theme of the blogging contest was a person I knew and who I refer to as Cha in this post. Sycophancy runs deep in our system as workplaces are no exemption. We all must have come across a character like Cha in our offices or observed him some where else, and I hope you can draw references from the description here.

Cha is adorable, he is helpful and friendly. And he is called Cha fondly. Not for the fondness people have for him but the fondness he never fails to express towards a particular person. Cha’s liking for that person is unquestionable yet unaccountable. People can know about it but not let anyone else know that they know while knowing that everybody already knows about it. PHEW!!

Affection, Affliction, Allegiance - Love, Lust, Ludicrousity – Have gone through these and similar words in dictionary to define the air Cha has for that person. Alas! None serves the context.

Any relation is based on mutual exchange of something. What does Cha gets from that person? Open invitation to kill time in her glass chambers, which nobody can neither  ignore nor ever pay attention to. (Gosh! They are just people at serious work. Leave them alone). Besides, being mocked and ridiculed ‘almost’ every now and then over silliest to the most serious matter.  And innumerable opportunities to defend the indefensible for the previously mentioned benefits he gets. (Oh! I’m so jealous).

On a serious note, does Cha really enjoy all these? Well the first one is open to deliberation but the latter two seem outright embarrassing to me.

However, Cha is the chosen one and he is loved. He is loved by all around him. Not that he is offensive otherwise and only his proximity to the particular person earns him the love he gets but it did earn him enough fondness to be rewarded with a name like Cha. He is not hated nor do people object to his affiliation. He was loved before he started basking in the glory of the benefits he draws currently.  But ever since people realized what he offers to enjoy those benefits made them cautious enough to love him and now, unconditionally. Cha has definitely put on a lot of weight since the glass chamber became sacred for him but he doesn't throw his weight around and nobody knows when he does. And even if they knew, they would do nothing but love him even more, perhaps move over to worshiping him.

The ‘love’ he commands is the biggest take away for all the mocking and grilling he gets in and outside the sacred chamber. Many wonder what qualifies him to be the chosen one. Could I ever become the Cha? Why not the one who sits beside me was considered for the prestigious role? What Cha did/does to have landed where he is now?

A little observation gave in a clue that the particular person inside the glass chamber is a curious cat seeking all sorts of information about others in the place. Apart from trying to act like the boss, she likes being fed on sumptuous details about personal and professional lives of people outside the chamber. If she was popular enough she would arrive and announce “What’s cooking folks?”, but she doesn't. Not anymore. She has tried those on earlier occasions but ended up setting her foot in the mouth with the kind of replies blown towards her respectfully. 

Earlier I allowed kindness to anchor my views, and thought that perhaps she's trying to be affable but what follows after one considers her friendliness is self deprecating. And the biggest proof lies in the treatment meted out to Cha. Everyone can see that except Cha for whom it's nothing less than benediction. 

The collapse of her plan which she thought was immune to failure must have made her to contemplate planting Cha as a mole among all. She thinks Cha is a charmer who easily gets people into talking about themselves. (Duh! Check our SM profiles dude. It’s all out there). Though, she doesn't know that the information people let out to Cha besotted by his charm and friendly nature are filtered purposefully to reach where it has to. *wink wink*. Everyone is cautious enough to never give out the information which could be the real deal maker or breaker. 

An artistic representation of Cha in action.

Image Courtesy: Joakim Heltne, Human Sculptures.

Cha is loyal. He is omnipresent. He has to be, in order to soak in tiny details out of lives of people, who matter to the particular person. That is his job. And he will do it out of his fear of getting replaced. That’s a serious fear. And playing Cha is a serious job. He, wrapped in his obedience and enthusiasm, cha-chas to the tune of his 'Master'. 

Cha

Short form of Chamcha.

Chamcha

Cham+Cha: One who is champion at serving cha or tea (metaphor for being servitude) to put himself/herself in someone’s good books

Etymology: Coined and used ever since human discovered power. Powerful people feel popular to be surrounded by Chamchas and Chamchas feel safe and loved doing so. There have never been shortage of such characters and never there will be at any place or frame in time. 

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